A picture of actor Geoffrey Owens, best known for his role as Elvin Tibideaux on The Cosby Show, surfaced last week of him working as a cashier at a New Jersey Trader Joe’s. Immediately outlets took hold of the photo to job shame the actor.

Geoffrey Owens hard work is no laughing matter

The malicious intent of “exposing” Owens reminds me we still continue to dwell in a society based on statuses. Pity the fool that belittles someone for doing an honest man’s/woman’s work.

I had the opportunity to meet Mr. Owens at an opening show at the Two River Theater in Red Bank, N.J. about six years ago. My immediate reaction was not why one of the stars of The Cosby Show is at a local theater, but how cool to see one of the stars from my favorite childhood show at this local theater.

After taking a picture and briefly speaking with him, Owens talked about his love for theater and how he was still performing in the theatrical dynamic. In fact, some years later after our meeting, Owens performed in several productions at the Two River Theater.

Owens is a working actor who just happens to have other jobs, too.

Doing what you have to do

It is never shameful to do what you have to do to put food on the table. I can remember working as a cashier at CVS and the shameful treatment I received from customers. Sometimes, it was worse from people who knew me or my family. I remember one person I went to school with said, “I never expected you to be here”.

While growing up, I was deemed to be an intelligent butterfly that would someday become a doctor, lawyer, or a prominent figure.

What little the criticizers knew was, I was an entrepreneur of this thriving business, working towards a degree, and CVS provided with me good health insurance until God saw fit for me to move on. I am now the owner of several thriving businesses, speak about communications and entrepreneurship, and have a career in one of the highest level’s you can obtain. And well, if I needed to go back to CVS for some extra income, I still would not be ashamed to do so.

We as a society have to do better on forcing our expectations on others. It is not your perception of what’s successful, but the person living it. In laymen terms, more people should get in the habit of simply minding their own business. Live your best life, while others live theirs.

Shame on those customers who took the photo of Owens to lampoon his honest job at Trader Joe’s and the distasteful articles and comments to follow.

Kudos to the actors and many others who have rallied behind Owens in understanding the true meaning of a working actor. For all we know, Owens could simply be working at Trader Joe’s because he wants to, not because he has to.

For the artists out there, continue to live the dream and do what you have to do get to where you’re going. It’ll all be worth it.

Mr. Geoffrey Owens, if you read this, know that we are extremely proud of you.  Rock on brotha. We appreciate you.

Stay strong.

Since the recent publicized killings of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, Unheard Voices Facebook has been getting relatively new attention on the stories that we cover and previously covered.

New and old articles of ours are starting to circulate the web as people look for significant dialogues on race relations. Rest assure, Unheard Voices is definitely a place where you can find such informative articles.

This past week, I shared a photo of a man that changed his Starbucks app to say #blacklivesmatter. For those of you who know Starbucks, whenever the barista finishes your order, they yell out your name to let you know the order is ready. So every time Lex Cross orders, the barista has no other choice to say Black Lives Matter.

Cross started this post, in what I grasp, to highlight the recent killings of non-threatening Black men.  So this is why I shared it. I thought it was interesting that Cross did this.

The post started to receive likes immediately. One commenter, who will remain nameless, proceeded to say “this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen”, followed by laughing emoji’s. I knew what he was implying, but I simply just asked him why. Nothing more. I wanted to engage in a dialogue with him, but in turn he would spew out a hateful and malicious message against an outlet and a person he doesn’t know.

I knew it was coming. I’ve watched debates online about the hashtag #blacklivesmatter. They are followed by arguments that all lives matter. The argument that blue lives matter. And the argument that whites are killed more than Black people by police, so why are people in protesting over black lives. When someone says that, what they mean is, are blacks truly over sensationalizing what’s happening to them? No, they are not. But these are the arguments I see on a daily when someone uses the hashtag #blacklivesmatter.

Without truly knowing or understanding the post, this person managed to say that Unheard Voices was a part of some media propaganda to separate this country and divide it.  I was more than disappointed. It was a personal attack. But I also read deep into his message and realized that he was actually saying matters like these need not to be talked about. As he states, “just because you go through something doesn’t mean you have to talk about it.” As a minority himself he said, he’s been through things and just rolls with the punches.

Probably, the most saddest thing you could do is just “roll with the punches”. My father was constantly harassed by the police for driving a brand new Mercedes Benz. At the time, he was a computer scientist and college professor. He and his CPA wife bought the Mercedes with their hard earned money. Yet, they were constantly reminded by the police their success didn’t matter simply because of the color of his skin. Had my father decided to “roll with the punches” (because that’s life), Unheard Voices would have not existed today.

I went full in. I gave him statistics about white vs blacks being killed. It seemed from his argument that he was trying to shut down that black lives don’t matter because white lives are killed more. But he vehemently overlooked the fact that 14.4% of the population is Black and 77% is white. Black and Latino’s are statistically stopped more during routine traffic stops.

He failed to take into account that a high number of cases where black people were killed by police were unarmed. He also further failed to look at disproportionate disadvantages that black Americans face and the stigmas that are put on them simply because of the color of their skin. Later on after I gave them these facts, he agreed they were valid.

But it wasn’t that statement from him that struck me, it was the personal attack on this so-called media agenda that he claims media outlets, particularly Unheard Voices outlets, are spewing. Some of the stuff he said was actually factual that some mainstream outlets are only posting because it helps them make money. But he put us into that category. I was flattered he thought we were some giant like NBC, but offended at the same time because he didn’t even know Unheard Voices or how we got started.

He failed to realize that progressive black outlets were started to tell stories of black people. Just like we have HBCUs. Just like we have Black banks. Just like we Black organizations. We have Black media outlets. Because no one will tell our stories CORRECLTY, but US.

What disturbed me completely was after telling him my experience, he said it wasn’t my obligation to speak on it.  His silence mentality struck a nerve. I never had the chance to say to him because I blocked him from the page, but I wanted to explain the Martin Luther King Jr. philosophy.

Martin Luther King Jr. and the freedom fighters did not believe in the words silence. It was the Civil Rights Movement of the 50s and 60s which enacted laws to make a person of color like him to live freely today. If they were silent on those issues that mattered, I am almost certain none of those policy changes and laws would have happened. It takes a movement.

In one of my graduate studies class, I wrote a paper entitled Black Violence : The Language of the Unheard. I spoke about how rioting led to significant changes and manifested the Black Power Movement that was a positive influence within black communities.

It was African American newspapers in the 50s and 60s that were circulated that told the positive stories of black Americans, not just only the afflictions.

It was boycotting and marching that lead to the Civil Rights Act and Voting Act of 1964 and 1965. If, during those times, people were silent on Jim Crow laws, segregation issues, things would have certainly been swept under the rug. Silence will never resolve problems. Silence lets it continue to germinate.

The theory of staying silent is the root of all problems today. For some reason, a majority of Americans have the “it doesn’t concern me” mentality and dare not talk about race relations. If you do talk about it, you are a “racist” and spreading some “hidden propaganda”.

Unfortunately, through a systemic racist system that obviously did not develop overnight, this country has never truly been integrated or “equal”. So how can media outlets, especially smaller managed ones, create a divide on a country that was never fully equal in the first place? Yes, some headlines are condescending saying “a black man was killed by a white police officer” instead of saying “a man was killed by a police officer”. But what is critically important is the comments that follow. That is not propaganda but true feelings that a lot of Americans share. A lot of those comments are hateful towards minorities. And that is something the media did not create by posting stories on police shootings. Just like Trump did not create racists. They were always there, just like America’s systematic racism. What I mean is, just because you fellowship with Black people, live among Black people, work with Black people, and see Black people in positions of power, did not suddenly makes things in America equal. There is still much work to do.

We need papers like the The Root, The Grio, Amsterdam News, Unheard Voices, Blativity, and even sites like RawStory & CopBlock, to talk about OUR stories. Us, telling our stories, have been around before social media started making black and brown issues go viral. Mainstream media outlets have no choice today to engage in dialogue because now the world is watching. We tend to forget how influential media is. The minute you see something happening whether it is positive or negative, for immediate exposure you go to a media outlet. Why? Because media outlets readership can help get your story heard. Now some of their agendas is another thing, but the meaning of smaller outlets like Unheard Voices is to give out a different perspective. Independent outlets are not controlled by the government. So therefore to say independent outlets are spewing some hidden agenda is really asinine, and it eliminates its influential existence. But I digress.

Like Jesse Williams said, if you don’t have any suggestions on how we can change systematic oppression, then do not try to silence me for telling our stories. You may not care about these issues, but there are a plethora of people who do. Unheard Voices has been here before the cameras started capturing it, and we will be here when it recedes.

I see many of you fighting for social justice through social media commentary. I write this piece for all of you to keep fighting and telling your stories. If you know you are not spewing hate but spreading knowledge toward social justice and change, do not let them silence you.

As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said :

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter

Baby daddy problems?

I might rub a few feathers with this post but this needs to be said.

My Facebook feed is pretty interesting. I have people from all walks of life on my list.

There are the ones my age who are getting engaged and married, the entrepreneur promoting their business, the performer trying to sell the dream, and the complainers.

The complainers

I always thought it was interesting that people would divulge their life on social media. I never quite understood the dynamics of people telling their business beyond what others should know. But unfortunately, there are many people who do so.

While this is not a new topic of discussion, lately I’ve been seeing the complainers, particularly women, ranting about their ‘baby daddy’.

I, for one, do not impede on anyone’s business but boy sometimes I would just like to let them have it. After all, they invited me in their business by posting it on social media.

It’s really sad to say but the majority of my generation and the younger of me is backwards. I remember growing up my parents always told me that my brother and I must do better than them.

And that cycle must continue. That my children must do better than myself. And so on.

So while growing up, I always thought three times about the decisions I made and how it would impact my life.

I know the same values and morals were not instilled in everyone. But I cannot help the fact with so much going on in our society, no matter how different each of our lives growing up were, wouldn’t we just want better?

For the cycle of shows like 16 and pregnant to end? Unfortunately as time goes by, the mindset of some of the younger generation is getting worse not better.

Baby Daddy Problems

The thought of this article came when I witnessed two women on my friend’s list go on and on about the father of their children and how they were no good.

Both woman in their 20s like myself. ‘He won’t come see the baby when it’s sick’. ‘He won’t pay child support’. ‘He’s just absolutely no good’

Without judging, I just want to tell these women if you’ve aimed for a husband then you would eliminate your baby daddy problems.

Well maybe I am judging.

I was told not to sell myself short. I always tell my brother if you cannot see her as your wife, then you shouldn’t be having unprotected sex with her to have the risk of having a baby and some unwanted things. I tell my female friends the same thing. If you cannot see him as your husband, then you shouldn’t be having unprotected sex with him to risk having a baby.

I get it. We live in a sexual society, and everyone’s just got to have it. There’s no such thing as keeping your legs closed and making them wait anymore. There’s no such thing as ‘dating” and ‘courting’ anymore. Because you just got to have it. Right? Just because he or she looks good doesn’t mean you need to lay with them! It doesn’t mean you always have to open your legs.

Here’s the thing. I am judging because us ladies cannot simply be that stupid.

When you get into “relationships” with these men, the signs are already there. But yet you divulge into those lustful temptations with them, and now you’re complaining.

If you’ve aimed for a husband you would eliminate your ‘baby daddy’ problems.

What I’m saying is, instead aiming for the thing between his legs, aim for the quality and traits of that man. What is his favorite color? What’s his favorite restaurant? Does he have a middle name? How does he treat his family? How does he treat his mother? What is his personality? Does he seem possessive?

Men, you should be asking the same questions to your woman as well. But this post is about my women right now. I’ll get to you in another one.

And why are you having unprotected sex if the relationship isn’t SERIOUS?

Now you’re mad because the man you laid up with, you knew hardly anything about yet let him hit it raw, is not being the father you want him to be. He is the dirt beneath your shoe. He is completely no good. Now you’re ranting about your ‘baby daddy’ problems. And you want people to feel sorry for you?

Aim higher.

If we simply took time to aim higher for ourselves, a lot of our problems would be eliminated. The same thing applies to my lesbian counterparts. If you aimed for her mind instead of the thing between her legs, then you might find the wife material you so seek.

I’m just saying.

I’m not saying having a husband would eliminate all your problems, but it sure would help having the mindset of aiming for one.

A husband is there for the long haul. A husband wants to be a father. You wouldn’t have to worry about child support with a husband/father, a baby daddy you just might. Do you get my drift?

Ironically as I was writing this article I stumbled upon an article entitled 7 Signs He Won’t Make A Good Husband.

Hmmm …

The problem is most of us are simply too young and naive to even be having children. We become so influenced by society, that we start to believe it’s okay to do what everyone else around us is doing.

Some of these women are not ready emotionally and financially to have a baby, but yet they still engage in activity putting them at risk to have them.

I was in the food store and the cashier that waited on me started talking about babies. She said that she wanted to have one because all her friends were having them. That and she stated she ‘wanted to get it out the way’. I asked her how old she was and she said 19.

Without being too mean or blunt, I simply told her if everyone jumped over the bridge would you do it? She understood, but still really wants to bring a child into this would without any stability?

She’s a part-time cashier, with no advance degree, and still lives at home with her parents. She said she would do everything she could to provide for the baby. Which means what? Stressing yourself to care for a child when you can’t take care of yourself?

Don’t make bringing a child into this world your greatest achievement.

Having a child is a God-given blessing, but be ready to have them with the right man. Simply not because everyone else around you is doing it.

I wanted to say to her why even put yourself through that? There’s so much to live for. Having a baby is a beautiful thing but at 19 you should be thinking about maybe college, traveling, and seeing the world.

What I’m saying is. Ladies, let’s aim higher for ourselves. Let’s make smarter choices for ourselves. Let’s make better decisions. Let’s start thinking.

We deserve it.