Dear Rude,

What type of advice or tips would you give to a person struggling to get
past a crush not liking them back? My friend finally had the guts to tell
a guy she liked him. They talked for a short time and then this awkward
faze started to happen. He basically just stopped talking to her. I think
he was forcing himself to like her because he didn’t want to hurt her
feelings. What a douche bag instead of just telling her in the beginning
they should be friends. She’s really struggling with this because she
really liked him. I’m trying to help her by talking about other things. I
even suggested setting her up on a date so she can get this other man off
her mind. Help me please! I’m running out of ideas! She’s acting so
depressed like there ain’t no other men out there! As the bff it’s driving
me crazy. Also what type of tips would you give to know if a crush likes
you back? I’m not trying to have my home girl going through the same thing
again.

 

Worried BFF, 25, MD

 

Dear Worried BFF,

Yea, that is a tough one. But if it was just a crush you need to make her understand that it was just that. She is devoting way too much of her emotions to someone who was essentially never hers.

You need to snap your friend into reality and make her understand that there was no commitment.

Sometimes as a friend you have to be the bad guy and I promise you she will love you unconditionally for it in the end.

I have a bestie, her name is Flo and I tell you no lies when I get out of hand she curses me out and straightens me up and I love her more than air for it.

Friends are our hand selected family. We choose them because we know they will make us better.

If she is this torn up about a crush that leads me to believe there are internal issues that she may need to handle. Perhaps the last thing she needs is to be hooked up with someone else. I feel like she may need to indulge in crushing on herself before anyone else can be on her radar. She really needs to fall in love with herself. That really is the only way to snap her out of her deep funk.

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Though I have never been broken hearted over a crush I have been broken hearted and I understand what the rock bottom feeling of heart break feels like. I know what it feels like to have high expectations and be let down so I do understand what she may be feeling. She feels like inhaling is going to make her heart pop right out of her chest and that is a pain that no words can ever really explain.

Your friend needs you to be strong enough to bring her back to life. Don’t let her slip into a deep depression because the deeper she goes the harder its going to be to snap her back. It is your job to remind her that she is not dead and that no person makes her alive… Only she can do that.

As for how to know if someone likes you … That is something that only time can tell you. Everyone expresses their emotions differently so you have to just follow your heart and your instincts. But what I will say is to never be a fool for anyone. So play things as close or as far as you feel comfortable and don’t move too fast. let things slowly progress. Get to know them.

The problem that I find so many people have is they rush. There’s nothing in the world wrong with moving slowly. There’s no need to rush into anything. Pay attention to subtleties. Pay attention to how a person treats you and how they regard you and you will know.

Relationships are difficult but when given the appropriate care and attention they can be the most amazing experiences in the world.

I wish your friend the best and please keep me posted with her progression.

Madd Love,

Rude

Photo Credit: Personal Development Guy

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