A picture of actor Geoffrey Owens, best known for his role as Elvin Tibideaux on The Cosby Show, surfaced last week of him working as a cashier at a New Jersey Trader Joe’s. Immediately outlets took hold of the photo to job shame the actor.

Geoffrey Owens hard work is no laughing matter

The malicious intent of “exposing” Owens reminds me we still continue to dwell in a society based on statuses. Pity the fool that belittles someone for doing an honest man’s/woman’s work.

I had the opportunity to meet Mr. Owens at an opening show at the Two River Theater in Red Bank, N.J. about six years ago. My immediate reaction was not why one of the stars of The Cosby Show is at a local theater, but how cool to see one of the stars from my favorite childhood show at this local theater.

After taking a picture and briefly speaking with him, Owens talked about his love for theater and how he was still performing in the theatrical dynamic. In fact, some years later after our meeting, Owens performed in several productions at the Two River Theater.

Owens is a working actor who just happens to have other jobs, too.

Doing what you have to do

It is never shameful to do what you have to do to put food on the table. I can remember working as a cashier at CVS and the shameful treatment I received from customers. Sometimes, it was worse from people who knew me or my family. I remember one person I went to school with said, “I never expected you to be here”.

While growing up, I was deemed to be an intelligent butterfly that would someday become a doctor, lawyer, or a prominent figure.

What little the criticizers knew was, I was an entrepreneur of this thriving business, working towards a degree, and CVS provided with me good health insurance until God saw fit for me to move on. I am now the owner of several thriving businesses, speak about communications and entrepreneurship, and have a career in one of the highest level’s you can obtain. And well, if I needed to go back to CVS for some extra income, I still would not be ashamed to do so.

We as a society have to do better on forcing our expectations on others. It is not your perception of what’s successful, but the person living it. In laymen terms, more people should get in the habit of simply minding their own business. Live your best life, while others live theirs.

Shame on those customers who took the photo of Owens to lampoon his honest job at Trader Joe’s and the distasteful articles and comments to follow.

Kudos to the actors and many others who have rallied behind Owens in understanding the true meaning of a working actor. For all we know, Owens could simply be working at Trader Joe’s because he wants to, not because he has to.

For the artists out there, continue to live the dream and do what you have to do get to where you’re going. It’ll all be worth it.

Mr. Geoffrey Owens, if you read this, know that we are extremely proud of you.  Rock on brotha. We appreciate you.

Stay strong.

Baby daddy problems?

I might rub a few feathers with this post but this needs to be said.

My Facebook feed is pretty interesting. I have people from all walks of life on my list.

There are the ones my age who are getting engaged and married, the entrepreneur promoting their business, the performer trying to sell the dream, and the complainers.

The complainers

I always thought it was interesting that people would divulge their life on social media. I never quite understood the dynamics of people telling their business beyond what others should know. But unfortunately, there are many people who do so.

While this is not a new topic of discussion, lately I’ve been seeing the complainers, particularly women, ranting about their ‘baby daddy’.

I, for one, do not impede on anyone’s business but boy sometimes I would just like to let them have it. After all, they invited me in their business by posting it on social media.

It’s really sad to say but the majority of my generation and the younger of me is backwards. I remember growing up my parents always told me that my brother and I must do better than them.

And that cycle must continue. That my children must do better than myself. And so on.

So while growing up, I always thought three times about the decisions I made and how it would impact my life.

I know the same values and morals were not instilled in everyone. But I cannot help the fact with so much going on in our society, no matter how different each of our lives growing up were, wouldn’t we just want better?

For the cycle of shows like 16 and pregnant to end? Unfortunately as time goes by, the mindset of some of the younger generation is getting worse not better.

Baby Daddy Problems

The thought of this article came when I witnessed two women on my friend’s list go on and on about the father of their children and how they were no good.

Both woman in their 20s like myself. ‘He won’t come see the baby when it’s sick’. ‘He won’t pay child support’. ‘He’s just absolutely no good’

Without judging, I just want to tell these women if you’ve aimed for a husband then you would eliminate your baby daddy problems.

Well maybe I am judging.

I was told not to sell myself short. I always tell my brother if you cannot see her as your wife, then you shouldn’t be having unprotected sex with her to have the risk of having a baby and some unwanted things. I tell my female friends the same thing. If you cannot see him as your husband, then you shouldn’t be having unprotected sex with him to risk having a baby.

I get it. We live in a sexual society, and everyone’s just got to have it. There’s no such thing as keeping your legs closed and making them wait anymore. There’s no such thing as ‘dating” and ‘courting’ anymore. Because you just got to have it. Right? Just because he or she looks good doesn’t mean you need to lay with them! It doesn’t mean you always have to open your legs.

Here’s the thing. I am judging because us ladies cannot simply be that stupid.

When you get into “relationships” with these men, the signs are already there. But yet you divulge into those lustful temptations with them, and now you’re complaining.

If you’ve aimed for a husband you would eliminate your ‘baby daddy’ problems.

What I’m saying is, instead aiming for the thing between his legs, aim for the quality and traits of that man. What is his favorite color? What’s his favorite restaurant? Does he have a middle name? How does he treat his family? How does he treat his mother? What is his personality? Does he seem possessive?

Men, you should be asking the same questions to your woman as well. But this post is about my women right now. I’ll get to you in another one.

And why are you having unprotected sex if the relationship isn’t SERIOUS?

Now you’re mad because the man you laid up with, you knew hardly anything about yet let him hit it raw, is not being the father you want him to be. He is the dirt beneath your shoe. He is completely no good. Now you’re ranting about your ‘baby daddy’ problems. And you want people to feel sorry for you?

Aim higher.

If we simply took time to aim higher for ourselves, a lot of our problems would be eliminated. The same thing applies to my lesbian counterparts. If you aimed for her mind instead of the thing between her legs, then you might find the wife material you so seek.

I’m just saying.

I’m not saying having a husband would eliminate all your problems, but it sure would help having the mindset of aiming for one.

A husband is there for the long haul. A husband wants to be a father. You wouldn’t have to worry about child support with a husband/father, a baby daddy you just might. Do you get my drift?

Ironically as I was writing this article I stumbled upon an article entitled 7 Signs He Won’t Make A Good Husband.

Hmmm …

The problem is most of us are simply too young and naive to even be having children. We become so influenced by society, that we start to believe it’s okay to do what everyone else around us is doing.

Some of these women are not ready emotionally and financially to have a baby, but yet they still engage in activity putting them at risk to have them.

I was in the food store and the cashier that waited on me started talking about babies. She said that she wanted to have one because all her friends were having them. That and she stated she ‘wanted to get it out the way’. I asked her how old she was and she said 19.

Without being too mean or blunt, I simply told her if everyone jumped over the bridge would you do it? She understood, but still really wants to bring a child into this would without any stability?

She’s a part-time cashier, with no advance degree, and still lives at home with her parents. She said she would do everything she could to provide for the baby. Which means what? Stressing yourself to care for a child when you can’t take care of yourself?

Don’t make bringing a child into this world your greatest achievement.

Having a child is a God-given blessing, but be ready to have them with the right man. Simply not because everyone else around you is doing it.

I wanted to say to her why even put yourself through that? There’s so much to live for. Having a baby is a beautiful thing but at 19 you should be thinking about maybe college, traveling, and seeing the world.

What I’m saying is. Ladies, let’s aim higher for ourselves. Let’s make smarter choices for ourselves. Let’s make better decisions. Let’s start thinking.

We deserve it.

Should you mind your social media behavior?

You’ve got the perfect cover letter and resume. The employer is impressed by your education and experience. You’ve landed the interview, and the hiring manager is impressed even more. You’ve done your homework and you’ve answered the questions with so much poised you know you’ve nailed that interview.

The company is interested in hiring you and the final step is doing a background check. You know you passed your background check so you’re good to go, or are you? You had the job until they looked at your social media behavior.

Or you’ve landed the job, but later on your social media behavior has become a problem to your employer. After careful consideration, they decide to alleviate you from your position.

It can happen.

Today, employers are no longer looking at your impressive resume and references to see if you are a perfect fit for the position. Hiring managers are now looking at the potential candidate’s social media. Whether you’re applying for a fortune 500 company, or a even a blog as a writer, they are looking.

Best believe, if your social media behavior isn’t right, you are not in the door or you’re out the door.

1. Social Media Can You Get You FIRED!

With the emergence of social media, companies had to reconstruct their policies on how employees should “behave” when it comes to social media.

Many employees found they were not immune to being given the pink slip after what they said on social media. Some public figures have been made examples of what not to do on social media.

Remember Director of Communications of IAC PR Justine Sacco? After complaints and backlash, she was quickly removed from her position after she posted a derogatory statement about Africa and AIDS on her twitter. She and countless others learned the hard way that your social media behavior can get you fired.

2. Bad Social Media Behavior Will Not Get You HIRED!

People still don’t understand that your social media can help you or seriously hurt you. Sites like LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, Google+, and even Instgram allow the employer to get a glimpse of who you are outside the cover letter, resume, and interview.

Does your social media represent the kind of person someone would want to hire? If you applied for a position today, would a potential employer cringe at your social media accounts?

3. You’re an entrepreneur. So you don’t have to worry about what you post on social media? Wrong. Social media can make you lose potential clients, and current clients.

I cannot count the number of times people have contacted me for potential business, and after looking at their social media behavior I respectfully declined. I have even stopped doing business with clients because of their social media behavior, especially if you’re tying my business to your name. It is a poor representation of you, and most importantly the company you are working with.

Don’t get me wrong, it is okay to show who you are, but don’t show too much. You cannot talk on your public account about how you would like to work with others to build your brand,  and then post inappropriate photos/content on your account.

4. It just doesn’t work like that.

Things you should NEVER post or DO on social media:

1. Internet bully behavior

2. Random ignorant ramblings

3. Immature posts

4. Personal conversations

5. Sharing confidential information about your job or personal opinions about your job

6. Sexual content

7. You doing illegal drugs

The bottom line is, if you choose to post publicly on your social media accounts, make sure it’s working toward your advantage. The information you provide on your background on that cover letter, resume, or proposal should exhibit the same person on your social media.

Mind your social media behavior, and always think before you post.